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Post by Smiley on Jul 20, 2009 11:09:35 GMT -5
"This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who." ;D ;D "SHE TURNED ME INTO A NEWT.... i got better"
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Post by HollyH on Jul 20, 2009 14:45:32 GMT -5
Don't come the Brigadier bit with us, dear, we all know where you've been, you military fairy.
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Post by Smiley on Jul 20, 2009 16:03:48 GMT -5
M: I want to complain. C: You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through. M: No, I want to complain about... C: If you complain nothing happens, you might as well not bother. M: Oh! C: Oh my back hurts, it's not a very fine day and I'm sick and tired of this office.
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Post by uncleson on Jul 20, 2009 17:07:44 GMT -5
On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.
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Post by complicatedlife on Jul 21, 2009 12:01:30 GMT -5
This demonstrates the value of not being seen
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Post by Smiley on Jul 21, 2009 13:20:51 GMT -5
I'm a lumberjack and I'm O.K. I sleep all night and I work all day
I cut down trees I eat my lunch I go to the lavatory....
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Post by HollyH on Jul 21, 2009 15:45:55 GMT -5
Ow'd you get to be king? I didn't vote for yer!
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Post by mrlennie on Jul 22, 2009 4:16:41 GMT -5
Nudge nudge, know what I mean, say no more....
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Post by complicatedlife on Jul 22, 2009 11:11:40 GMT -5
He used... sarcasm. He knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and... satire. He was vicious
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Post by HollyH on Jul 22, 2009 11:15:43 GMT -5
Wait, no, don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.
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Post by Smiley on Jul 22, 2009 11:37:55 GMT -5
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
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Post by complicatedlife on Jul 22, 2009 13:14:37 GMT -5
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. ....Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.
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Post by Smiley on Jul 22, 2009 13:17:13 GMT -5
Cardinal Biggles... "poke her with the soft cushions!"
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Post by complicatedlife on Jul 22, 2009 14:15:03 GMT -5
Customer: Camenbert, perhaps?
Wenslydale: Ah! We have Camenbert, yessir.
Customer: (suprised) You do! Excellent.
Wenslydale: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny...
Customer: Oh, I like it runny.
Wenslydale: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir.
Customer: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah!
Wenslydale: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.
Customer: I don't care how f**king runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.
Wenslydale: Oooooooooohhh........!
Customer: What now?
Wenslydale: The cat's eaten it.
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Post by HollyH on Jul 22, 2009 14:43:03 GMT -5
I-I-I-Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant Who was very rarely stable. Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar Who could think you under the table. David Hume could out-consume Schopenhauer and Hegel And Wittgenstein was a beery swine Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya 'Bout the raising of the wrist. Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill. Plato, they say, could stick it away-- Half a crate of whiskey every day. Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle. Hobbes was fond of his dram, And René Descartes was a drunken fart. 'I drink, therefore I am.'
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed, A lovely little thinker, But a bugger when he's pissed.
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